If you’d like to do this with me, go right ahead! I’d like to see your list!

1. Photograph a birth

2. Sew one dress.

3. Go to Ireland.

4. Write a book.

5. Teach someone something.

6.Make something once a month. [At least!]

7. Photograph a photographer.

8. Get on the good side of a local agency.

9. Get published in an amazing magazine.

10. Brand my business thoroughly.

11. Get new business cards.

12. Wear a size 4 jeans.

13.Visit [aka move to] Washington State.

14. Go to the Smithsonian.

15.Go to the beach.

16.Buy my first pair of high heels. [Red preferably]

17.Build a work desk.

18.Make my daughter and I matching outfits.

19. Plant a raised garden.

20.Grow my hair out really long.

21.Collaborate with a photographer I admire.

22. Host  a workshop.

23.Go on a roadtrip.

24.Go to a photography workshop.

25. Re-learn how to knit.

26. Knit an infinity scarf.

27. Get large prints of my work and hang them in my home.

28. Put together a print portfolio.

29. Release my new project.

30.Cook Christmas dinner all by myself.

31. Redo my house. All of it.

32. Hardwood floors.

33.Start painting again.

34. Get mine and my husband’s photo taken.

35.Buy a gorgeous evening gown and go to a ridiculously hoity toity restaurant with my husband.

36. Spend more time with my bestie, Sam.

37. Go to a volleyball game.

38. Join an adult volleyball team/rowing team.

39. Go rowing by myself.

40.Find my niche in photography and be successful.

41. Read my scriptures everyday.

42. Take ballroom dancing with my husband.

43. Buy an 85mm 1.2 or 135mm 2.0.

44. Get my daughter into modeling. Just for fun.

45. Second shoot a wedding.

46. Complete this project.

47. Visit my sister’s grave.

48. Get a penpal. [Any takers?]

49. Get a G12 to take with me on my scouting trips.

50. Get a six pack and biceps.

51. Get my portrait taken.

52. Host an over night “workshop”.

53. Take a long exposure shot of the night sky.

54. Go on a date with my husband.

55. Buy the perfect pair of boots.

56.Meet more photographers.

57.Take a self portrait I’ll be proud of.

58.Have another baby.

59.Make a cuddly for my nephew, Lucas.

60.Go camping.

61. Buy a tent.

62.Get a kitten.

63.Make a cape.

64. Make an activity bag for trips with Bebe.

65. Do a shoot in the desert.

66. Be a goodie ninja. [Make sweets and leave on doorstep. Must start running to build up endurance.]

67. Watch a sunset, stay up all night and see the sunrise.

68. Dress like a hipster for one day.

69. Buy a lace dress/shirt.

70.Rig my own lights for photos.

71. Sleep under the stars.

72. Write a book of poetry.

73. Photograph my Gramma.

74. Get awesome wedding bands.

75. Dye my hair a different colour. [Super blonde or red.]

76. Make a quilt.

77.Go to Rembrandts with my bestie.

78.Go shopping and enjoy myself.

79.Take photos of a ballerina.

80.Buy a vintage tea set and have a tea party.

81.Ask the owner of the land I’ve been coveting for a year to take photos there.

82. Have a Halloween party.

83. Learn to control my anger.

84. Only take photos that I love.

85. Learn and make an ethnic dish for dinner.

86. Advertise on theknot.com.

87.Throw a baby shower.

88.Stop doing so much TF shooting. Unless I really want to.

89. Learn my worth and always remember it. Financially and spiritually.

90.Go hiking with Sam.

100.Be happy.

101. Have a girl’s night/weekend.

There you go! I hope to document these things so I can blog and show you what I’ve done. Keep your eyes peeled!

I have a terrible confession.

I have not picked up my camera one time this year. Not once, and January is half way over. [How ashamed are you? On a scale of one to ten?] I’m so ashamed of myself and so down. It’s not that I don’t want to create, it’s just I haven’t been on my a-game. I haven’t been actively creating and I haven’t even tried to set up a shoot. What is wrong with me, you ask? Let me tell you what’s wrong. I. Am. Lazy. And, maybe a little scared. I hate failing more than anything I can think of at this moment.  I don’t want to fail and I really don’t want anything negative in my life. But, then I remember, I don’t do this to please someone else. I don’t create images and feelings and worlds to make you like them. They are me and I am all of them.

Also, I have probably told you this a million times, but I can’t just go out and take a photo and be happy with it. I like stories and hair and wardrobe, location, etc to be perfect. To be cohesive. And, that takes time. Plus, I’m sure my OCD/Perfectionism have something to do with my inability to freely create.

Be patient with me. I promise I haven’t forgotten you.

Don’t forget me.

But, now that the magazine’s out I can share with you!

[I put in a TON more here that are NOT seen in the magazine.]

Of course Aria Darling did hair/supplied wardrobe/makeup.

[I helped with the mad hatter hair!! I've got mad back combing skills!]

I did all photography/retouching. Tada!!

Hope you enjoy!

In a sense, I feel as though I’ve gone backwards in my photography/editing and that makes me extremely unhappy and nervous for more shoots. It’s not enough to keep me from creating, but I get uneasy when it comes to a new project. So, that’s why I’ve decided to do a 52 weeks project. This is where I will take/post one photo every week in order to grow and to develop my own style. I am so stoked to start his project. So stoked in fact, that I’ve already booked the first shoot for the first photo and I’ve planned out about 80% of the rest of the themes. Crazy, right? Maybe for someone else, but not for me. One of the things I learned in 2011 is, I fall flat on my face if I don’t have a story behind my images. I can’t just wing it and be satisfied with the outcome. I prefer to map out all aspects of the image I want to create. [Although, I admit, I have gotten a few images that I really love and they have been absolutely spontaneous.] That’s why I’ve gotten lots of notes on my 52 themes list and I’m ridiculously excited to shoot so that means, you should be just as excited! Right?

In 2011 I encountered a few rough and tumble ‘photographers’, ‘models’, and ‘clients’. I’m actually very thankful I met these people. They have taught me a wonderful lesson: not everyone is as kind or thoughtful as you expect them to be. But, be not dismayed my fellow artisans and art lovers, this has in no way changed who I am or how I run my passion. They have only fueled the fire more and sparked a note in me to try and make this world of artists better. There is nothing here on earth that can not be improved and I intend to be the change that I want and need. So, thank you ill-mannered people, you have made me a better person for 2012.

When I started photography, I didn’t start it to make money. I’ve been in love with photography from when I was seven years old or so and it’s only grown into a roaring fire deep in me. I do however, believe in being paid for my art and my vision. I do NOT  however, enjoy photographing things that do not please me or that do not reflect me. This is why in 2012 I will not be taking every single job that I encounter. I do not want this to discourage people from approaching me or proposing a shoot. [This does NOT mean I do not want to challenge myself or try something out of the ordinary. It means, that I want to do it MY way and make it reflect me.] I just want to be happy and I believe every one deserves to be happy, including you.  The reason is: I get quite a few people who ask me to compromise my shooting style or try and tell me how to shoot or where to shoot and you can always pick these photos out because they look nothing like my work.  Hire someone who takes photos that you already love.[ You wouldn't hire Santa to be the Easter Bunny right?] If you are paying me because you like my photos, let me do MY job.

Another thing 2011 has taught me, I’m really interested in other artistic endeavors. I used to paint and write, so in 2012 I will be taking on my own personal challenge to develop those talents. I will  probably put my writing and paintings here on my blog so you’ll be able to see what I’m working on. Sound good? I usually never take on things that I’m not good at so it will be interesting to see if I fail succeed. Everyone likes to see people fail succeed, right? [That was my  lame attempt at a joke.]

I hope each and every one of you have a very Happy New Year and I hope it’s the best one yet!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me by leaving comments, reading my ramblings, sharing my photos, hiring me to take your photos, and by leaving me sweet little notes!

Thank you. Thank you.

xoxoxxo,

Adrienne

]]> http://www.adriennemcnellis.com/2012-goals/feed/ 0 http://www.adriennemcnellis.com/i-remember/ http://www.adriennemcnellis.com/i-remember/#comments Sun, 11 Dec 2011 21:19:49 +0000 admin http://www.adriennemcnellis.com/?p=2671 when the breeze use to hit my face like an icy embrace and the shearling coat barely helped. I gasped with an inaudible cry of surprise. Still. I treaded I on. There were times when I should have stopped, when I should have turned back, but with an undeniable tendency to be headstrong, I kept on.

I miss the broken limbs that scattered the floor along with the soft, moist earth beneath my feet. I can recall the smell, the texture, the weight of it in my hands. If I could bottle up a memory, that would be the perfume I’d wear. Earth with a bit of adventure and mystery. A journey of fear and wonder.

I wish I could be with you always and tread on you daily. I can not forget you and I dare not deny my love and lust for you. A lust that will never be quenched. I yearn to reacquaint myself with your hidden hollows and your fickle nature. You are with me in my heart and on my mind, anywhere I go, your beauty and harshness over power any other love that may begin to bud. With a love as deep as mine, I know you will ne’er know want, nor will there be  another’s love to challenge mine.

After meeting with you again, I felt a wick inside me being lit with a burning knowing and tangible anticipation begin to take flight in my soul.

So, until we meet again.

Until I’m home again.

So enjoy and click to see full image/larger image. Badabing!

I have so much in store for 2012, I can’t wait to get started! [But, that's a whole different blog post. So keep your eyes peeled. Like russet potatoes]

Business can never be mixed with personal. 

And then, I tossed that idea out by it’s shirt tails. I may not be business savvy, but I do know how I want my “business” to be run. This isn’t a corporation and this isn’t a national chain. This is a one woman operation. I started it with my bare hands, literally, and I intend to keep these same hands clicking away. I’m not here to take over the world or Sears Studios. I’m only here to show the world my view. You see, people don’t go to mom and pop stores to buy WalMart brands. They go there for the atmosphere, for the homemade pie, for the greeting by name even when you haven’t been in there in a month,  and little Susie chewing on her braids. They go for the personality.

My “business” will always be personal. Every last ounce of it. I don’t do this for the money, because by golly, I’d be in the hole if I did. I do this to ease the aching pain in my soul that begs me to create. I don’t take photos because I’m good at it and I don’t share them because I want praise and adoration. I create, because I have to. Because, I want to. Every photo out there with my name on it, I put hours of my life in it. If I wasn’t thinking of concepts, posing, lighting, props, wardrobe, makeup, composition, I was thinking of what colours to use, how to edit, should I go with sky or trees? The rest of the time I was having a staring contest with my computer trying to get the perfect edit. I’m not a photographer who runs all their photos through the same action and hopes it turns out okay. I don’t give you every photo I take because, I only want you to have the very best. I put my heart and sweat into this ” business“.

So, believe me when I say:

It’s not business, it’s personal. 

It’s just who I am.

I cannot believe my little girl is two. TWO! [Don't worry, she's had the terrible two's for about a year now.]

This year, Husband and I decided to have our own party for Vesper. [Just us three!] We took her to the zoo because she loves animals and took her out to eat.

And then! I finally got a chance to take some two year old photos of V and I decided to photograph her in her present[s] from her Datz! These are so different from her one year photos.

A few things first about the wonderful V:

1. Her favourite movie right now is Finding Nemo.

2.She puts shirts and pants on her head like a hat and wears it all day.

3. She is constructing her own sentences. At least one every day!

4. She wears 4t shirts/dresses! [Long torso'd baby.]

5. She calls her daddy, Datz.

6. She calls me, Mommy, mama, maMA, ma, Adrienne, mom, etc.

7. Her favourite things to do are: read, play outside, play dress up, write, and colour.

8. She is seriously the fastest [and has the most endurance running] two year old.

9. She has really big feet. [And she LOVES LOVES LOVES shoes. ANY kind of shoes.]

10. She is not afraid of anything.

There she was dancing to some African music.

I love it when they have petting zoo’s INSIDE  of a zoo.

Here Vesper is telling the goat that it’s HER coat.

Vesper loves monkeys. She even picked one out in the gift shop.

Now, we get to the birthday photos! These are not my most favourite. They are a little cheesy, but by golly, my kid makes everything look cute.

It’s hard to believe these were taken in December!

Tada!!

P.S. I already have next year’s photos ALL planned out. So be prepared.

I love you Vesper. You’re my girl.

I know on Thanksgiving Day, you’re supposed to go around the table and tell everyone what you’re thankful for. I can’t even imagine how long it would take me if I listed EVERY single thing that I’m thankful for. This year has been a whirlwind, full of scary surgeries, birthdays, setbacks, blessings, and lots of road blocks. I am ready to put this year behind me and evolve. I wish every day could be Thanksgiving, or I wish people would just be more grateful instead of having to designate a day out of the year to be grateful. Every day is a blessing.

Today, and for the rest of my life, I’m thankful for:

a daughter who makes me laugh every single day

a husband who supports my dreams 99% [because you know, you can't be 100% all the time]

a roof over my head

a wonderful, fully functional camera that allows me to show my inner most feelings

magic and dreams

good eats

all the wonderful people who support my dreams [you know who you are]

the little things

I’m so blessed, I can’t even list all that I’m thankful for.

I hope you have so many things/people you are thankful for,  you just burst into tears thinking about how loved you are. No matter who you are, someone out there loves you and they may not even know your name.

Much Love.

Adrienne

Anyways, we met at Pocket Wilderness on a Thursday and voila! Pictures!!

Whitney, you are so pretty.

It’s because I’m wacky.  That’s why.

That’s my friend bob. [No capitalization.]

That photo right there, is why I need an assistant. Any takers?

Tada!!

I can’t wait to photograph their wedding next year!